From Vida.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LIGAW?
Courtship is when the guy would win the girl's hand in marriage. I know that sounds a bit too far fetched -- ligaw, tapos kasal agad -- but that's where it's supposed to end up anyway. Courtship is the stage where the guy expresses his (pure) intentions to marry the girl and then they get to know each other in a deeper way, more than than the way they knew each other as friends.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT FRIENDS CAN BE LOVERS BUT LOVERS CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS?
Lovers must be friends first, and I think lovers can still be friends. Even if the breakup is really bad. Or maybe I'm being optimistic. But I really think time can heal wounds, so eventually things will be okay pa rin.  (Parang ang labo ng sinabi ko)

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN LEARN TO LOVE SOMEONE KAHIT HINDI MO SIYA TALAGA MAHAL?
Maybe not in that way. Depends really. Hmmm...rereading this question is tricky...learning to love someone who you don't really love. Labo ah. Haha. Love the unlovable? Romantically speaking, it's hard, and it's not fair if you just "learned" to love the person when you are in the relationship already...you should have "learned to love" the person ages ago, before the two of you got together.

WHO'S YOUR IDEAL PARTNER?
Whoever God created for me is my ideal partner. I trust His judgment. As of now, my ideal partner is Him. :D

HAVE YOU MET YOUR SOULMATE?
Him! :D

IS IT TRUE NA ANG LOVE NAWAWALA O NABABAWASAN LANG?
Not exactly nababawasan...nagbabago pwede pa. I don't think love disappears (sabi nga ng Avalon sa isang song nila, Love Remains), but it changes over time.

HAVE YOU REALLY LET GO OF SOMEONE?
Yes. Took me too long though! Thing is, letting go happens everyday, not just one time big time.

HOW MANY BFs/GFs HAVE YOU HAD?
None. Still waiting for THE ONE!

ARE YOU ALWAYS SERIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS?
Haven't been in any relationship yet, so I can't say. I do think I will be serious. I value commitment. :D

FRIENDSHIP OR COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?
Friendship. :D

WHY?
Friendships should be forged first before any other relationship. You can't be in love with a total stranger...you have to get to know the person first, as in really get to know the person, and good friendships are solid foundations to whatever further kind of relationship two people might have in the future.

HAVE YOU FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Nah. Platonic as we can be.

ANY REGRETS?
There's no time for my regrets. - "Things I Pray For" by Eli :D Life is too precious to be regretful about anything.

ARE YOU A PLAYER?
Nope.

ARE U TOO SERIOUS WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
I take them seriously, if that's what you mean. I joke around, but when it comes to commitment, I'm serious.

ARE YOU A MARTYR?
No. Martyrs get killed. Haha. There's such a thing called "loving yourself" too, you know. Too much of something is bad.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE FIRST BEFORE LIVING-IN?
Yes.

WHY?
Because that's the way it should be. Period. No room for "testing"...if you really love each other, you're willing to stick it out with each other forever.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF RECONCILIATION WITH Ex's?
It's okay. I guess. People get into conflicts, that's normal. Pangit lang talaga kung break-recon lagi. Parang the two of you would be better off not with each other na lang.

DO YOU LOOK AHEAD TO YOUR FUTURE OR DO YOU LOOK BEHIND YOUR PAST?
Present. A bit mindful of the future, looks a bit in the past for some mistakes I have made, but always live in the present.

WHY DO SOME RELATIONSHIP DON'T LAST?
Christ is not the center of their relationship. Or, minadali kaya sablay. Inunahan ang plano ni God, hindi magawang mag-antay. In short, lack of consultation with the One who writes our love stories.

DOES LOVE CONQUER ALL?
Yes. Because God conquers all, and He is love. :D

WHAT's YOUR PHILOSOPHY REGARDING LOVE?
 "Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (The Message) .

Sakto. This is what love is supposed to be. And its greatest example can be found in the cross. :D Try thinking about it.

 

Average Girl
By Barlow Girl

So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring

No more dating
I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating
I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story

Boys are bad that's certainly not true
'Cause God is preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
God's arms are the perfect place to run

Sleep that's the only thing For me
'Cause when I sleep God's preparing one
for me

----------------------------

PERFECT! Haha. I LOVE THIS SONG! I LOVE THIS ARTIST!

 Pssst...you may download the song by clicking on the link.

No one's updating here anymore.

I'm at work right now, and I'm not yet doing any work because...well, I just arrived. And there's no one beside me yet. Ho-hum. I still have to finish this part of the login and also some other bugs in the registration of this online system I'm doing (yes, it's so INTROSE. How fun). Notice how I take my time so as it would eat the hours in the office. I should start studying on how to make my code simpler because they're too long for a system like this. Or maybe I'm being too paranoid again.

Anyway, I'll be leaving work early today because I'm going to DLSU for a YFC meeting. Yahoo. These are definite things to look forward to. I'm not looking forward to the afternoon heat I'm going to face later, but hey, it's all good afterwards. :D I can't wait for this afternoon (and because I said that, I bet time would roll by oh-so-slowly today. ).

I should...do something else. Haha. Blog-hop before actually working. Bad Tina. Mental Reminder: as soon as your supervisor arrives, ask permission to leave early. You might end up forgetting it.

You might have dreamt of watching them before in the Land Down Under (I know I did). Dream no more.

THIS IS THE NEXT BEST THING TO BEING IN AUSTRALIA!

One Day. Your Love is Beautiful. Eagle's Wings. You are Near. You Said. Jesus' Generation. Touching Heaven Changing Earth. My Redeemer Lives. This is How We Overcome. I Give You My Heart. Hosanna. My Heart Will Trust.

HILLSONG/UNITED < Live >
featuring Reuben Morgan
June 11, 2005, 4pm - 9pm / Worship Seminar (4:00-7:00pm) and Worship (7:00 - 9:00pm) / Araneta Coliseum

Ticket Prices:
P1575 - Patron and Lowerbox
P840 - Upperbox A
P420 - Upperbox B (+200 if you want to attend the seminar)
P158 - General Admission (+200 if you want to attend the seminar)


If you're interested, you can buy tickets from me You may contact me through the following:

Email: tinamats@gmail.com [please put in the subject line: Hillsong United tickets]
Y!M: writer_dawn

For more information on the concert, visit http://reubenmorgan.blogspot.com Once in a lifetime 'to, don't miss it. :D

Changes everywhere. Happening all around me. To the places, to the things. To the people I love and care for. To me.

 

I know change is inevitable...but somehow I wish things aren't this way. I wish things won't have to change, that things could stay the same way they are. I'm scared at what these things could bring about, and that things will never be the same again and that...that's it. I'm scared, period.

 

Hold me gently in Your arms, and calm my beating heart...whisper words of hope in the dark, whisper to me.

 

I absolutely have NO idea whatsoever about how life is going to be for me for the next months...but one thing I know that I should do is to trust in Him. I know He knows what He is doing...and whatever happens, it's all in His master plan -- His perfect master plan for me. 

I'm holding on to You.  

I'm not looking back until I see Your face...I'm running straight to You.

Last night, I met with my parents at Sta. Lucia on my way home from the office. They went there to apply a plan for me in Smart (for the second time in my entire life, I’ll be getting a new phone and finally, I’ll be getting a line. Wow. Surprises. I didn’t ask for it). After signing the contracts in Smart, we went to Max’s to eat dinner, but before that, I saw Karl, Elfred and Shinnus, three of my high school classmates and I found out that Elfred is also a volunteer for Gawad Kalinga, in Gabaldon to be precise. Cool!  I love little surprises like that!

And so anyway, while waiting for our bill, I was listening to some mp3s and then *N Sync’s Falling played. I found myself playing it again because…well, it’s a totally mushy song and I remember having it on repeat while I wrote my (totally mushy) novel. I found myself feeling the feeling I’ve been trying to ignore the past weeks – and for a change, instead of ignoring it, I let myself feel sentimental, even just for a while.

The past weeks, I’ve been having some sort of confusion. It’s not a struggle (or at least, I don’t think it is), it’s actually the lack of one. And though I know I should be happy that I’m done with my struggle, I could not help but be disturbed about it because I don’t know if I’m over the struggle or if I am just turning my back on it, ignoring it so it won’t bother me anymore. Whenever I’d feel a tinge of sadness or a longing feeling, I’d dismiss it and think of other things, thinking that if I succumbed to those feelings for even just a while, I will lose my focus on God. There are better things to think about/do, other than wallow in all those “negativity", right?

I thought so.

But then I found myself feeling like I’m lacking something. I feel like my life started going bland, boring. I almost wished for something “exciting” to happen to me, but then I stopped myself again and told myself I don’t know what I was wishing for. That wishing for excitement might lead me to a situation where I would find it hard to keep my focus on God. So…I avoided it.

I thought what I was doing was right…until I got to the point that I felt nothing. I detached myself too much from all the feelings of negativity that I ended up feeling nothing. As in NONE. And when you get to that point, you’d realize that it’s better to feel sad or lonely or whatnot than feeling nothing.

The past week, I’ve been reflecting on why I felt that way. It disturbed me because I didn’t know what to feel. It’s like I don’t feel human anymore. I think I got too optimistic for my own good that every bit of “negativity” makes me run away fast. I wondered if I was done with my struggle, if I was already firm, or maybe I was just fooling myself all along. It got me alarmed because I knew something was wrong, and I can’t point it out.

After some consultations with friends and prayers, I arrive at the night last night, where I was listening to *N Sync’s Falling. I realized then, that I had taken control all of a sudden. I did surrender all control to God, but I didn’t know that I had unknowingly took control of my emotions and stopped myself from experiencing the experiences (redundant, I know) because I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid of crying over something I don’t think is worth crying for. I was afraid of feeling mushy and sentimental because I thought that if I felt that, I’d be losing my focus on Him, that I would pull my sacrifice off His altar again and I’ll be wrestling with God over that thing I offered that I took back. So I chose not to acknowledge those feelings when they’d come and say that I am okay, even if in reality, I’m not. I chose to smile and hide whatever I was feeling (thank God for my optimistic personality…if it weren’t for that, I would’ve gone crazy now).

What I didn’t know was that what I was doing was wrong. True, it’s useless to wallow in negativity, but it’s also not right to completely stay away from those feelings and pretend everything is okay. Like I said, I was afraid to get hurt. I was afraid that if by acknowledging these emotions, I’d make myself vulnerable and I’d end up crying. I was afraid to waste my tears on something I thought was not worthy. I was scared of being heart broken, period. So instead of letting God work in me by living those experiences/feeling those emotions, I stayed within my own comfort zone. I refused to acknowledge anything “negative” and in the process…I felt nothing.

I realized last night that this is not what God wants to happen in my life. I didn’t let Him work – I was too afraid to get my heart broken to hand him complete control. That’s not right. God did not create me as a robot…He made me human. And being a human means feeling emotion – whether they be good or bad. I was created to feel these things, and by pretending everything is okay, I’ve deprived myself of that. God was telling me that I should have enough courage to let Him work, even if it means I would get hurt somewhere in the process. Because even if I get hurt, His promise remains. He will be with me every step of the way.

This doesn't mean that I'm gonna let my emotions control me. I'm just going to give this part of my life to Him as well. I'm gonna let Him work. I shouldn't be afraid of feeling those things (sadness, longing, etc) because it's what makes me human. I'm gonna let things flow naturally, trusting Him enough that He knows what He's doing (and I'm sure He does). Whatever hurts I may experience, whatever heartbreak that might come up, it's okay, because I know that it's part of His plan for me. I will get rid of my control freak nature once and for all. This is His job here. I'll let Him take control.

and today I will trust You with confidence
of a man who’s never known defeat…
and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don’t break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there
-"Let it All Out” by Relient K

God’s day everyone!