Well isn't this fun. A lot of things happened for the past week, but last night probably tops it all: assisting someone who's really drunk. It was my first time, and thank God Mito stayed so we had a medic. Haha.

I feel like such a loser, scheduling some of the things I do just so I can satisfy some of my "longings". It's stupid, really. Pero ba't ko ginagawa? Hay, the things I do. ^^;

Basta, as long as I don't get too attached, everything's okay. Oh yeah, as long as I don't get too attached to that thing/person/whatever, AND I stay attached to God, then everything will definitely be okay.

I've been thinking a lot lately -- about myself, what I'm doing and all that. I'm really glad I have found friends like Bea and Lara and Engel and Jade who continually encourage me and love me even if sometimes I feel like I'm such a rotten person. >:D<

I'm gonna need prayers on some parts of my life...so if you can spare some words to Him, please do. Thank you.

i just want to hear His word with you, to celebrate His goodness with you. would you let me do that?

I was searching through the archives of my high school's yahoogroup, and I saw this certain quote I posted when I failed INTRODS.

"Don't let a single thorn stick up to your skin, or those other pricking thorns get to you. For when you start to stand up for the pain on your fingers, you realize God gave you a rose."

How true.

Valentine's Day came and passed, and thankfully, it wasn't so bad. No repercussions of my past, which is a lot better than last year. In fact, the only time I saw him (my "past") was last night, and I wasn't fazed at all. I pray that this will start the normalcy between us. :D

Something nice and unexpected happened yesterday, though it wasn't really a big thing, and the only time I realized that it was worthy of being called nice was last night, when I learned what really happened.

*insert really big grin here*

That, and the little things that are happening now. Or earlier. Haha. I'm not saying anything (yet), but as of now, it's really, really nice.

Anyway...here's a thought for Valentine's Day, even if it's late. :D

"This is love: not that we loved God but He first loved us...so let us love one another since He loved us first." - 1 John 4:10,19

Belated Happy Heart's Day.

I got a little something from someone today. Finally. And funny because I dreamt of getting that too, but I didn't get the exact same thing I wanted. Haha. Will elaborate further later.

-------------------

:cake: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETE! :cake:

Exactly 1 month to go before I turn 19! And I haven't fully experienced being 18 yet (haven't watched an R-18 movie -- haha!, haven't learned to drive yet). I'll have to make sure this last month of being 18 be "full". Haha.

Anyway, here's my birthday wishlist for my 19th birthday. :D

(birthday wishlist!)
Ang dami. Haha. Will update this next time.

Guys! Invited kayo!

-------------------

WOODSTRUCK '05 CAMPUS TOUR PARTY

ADMISSION IS FREE!!!

DATE: February 24, 2005
TIME: 6pm
VENUE: Leon Guinto St. between CSB & St.
Scholastica's College

featuring:
PARAMITA
VALLEY OF CHROME
TYPECAST
CHICOSCI
& Bounce Dance Competition

Bring your friends and let's have fun!
Be struck by the wood of Christ! See you there!

"I shall keep silent and not open my mouth, for this is Your work." - Psalm 39:10

Dear God, I'm holding on to You. More than ever.

"Every prudent man acts with reflection, the fool parades his stupidity."
- Proverbs 13:16

As soon as I woke up today, I prayed. I even held a mini worship in my room (told you Sam has her use), and I prayed like I never did before. I needed that because I was feeling quite...er, hormonal yesterday, and I didn't like it.

Anyway, I've been doing some letting go the past nights, and surprisingly, it wasn't really that difficult to let go of this thing I sort of hold dear to me. I have a feeling there'll be this haunting moments of regret on why I did that, but then it's just the devil poking me and pointing to my past. I'm not going to let that bother me -- He's on my side. And I am going to hold on to His promise for me, whatever happens.

I still don't like what I'm feeling right now, and I feel like this is going to distract me the entire weekend while I work on more important things, like our thesis and the BIOCOM2 courseware and the INTROOS MP.

God's love is enough.

I would really appreciate it if you would pray for me. I need your prayers, the state of my heart is in somewhat dangerous grounds. Thank you.

Broken
by Seether featuring Amy Lee (Evanescence)

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

All Of My Days
by Hillsong United

Proclaim Your awesome power
Tell of mighty deeds
Declare Your future kingdom
Of everlasting peace

And my eyes they look unto You always
And I am captured by Your Majesty

All of my days
I will sing of Your greatness
All of my days
I will speak of Your grace
All of my days
I will tell of Your wonderous love
Your love in my life
Your love

All Your works will praise You
Your children bless Your name
We speak of all Your goodness
We walk in fields of grace

hehehe. i edited my previous birthday wishlist...and trimmed it so it won't be too long. hehehe! here we go. :D - to pass thesis! - a purple Nokia 7250 housing (kahit fake okay lang!) - Nokia 1100 [hehe, for my Sun sim] - Nokia phone charger - Smart Buddy P300 load - Purple Nike Energia Shox - True Love Waits Heart Ring (view here) or True Love Waits Daisy Ring (view here) - Faber Castell colored pencils - Fruitella Strawberry Lollipops :D - chocolates (any kind) - a sunflower (as in the flower) or a bouquet of (yellow) daisies - Metallic gel pens (blue, purple, bronze, green)...or any pen that can write on black paper - The Message Bible, the one with the orange cover :D - a new disk drive for my laptop - journals! brown paper and unlined - autographed Jars of Clay anything. hehehe! - books         > Testify Chronicles         > any book by Max Lucado         > The Veritas Project: Nightmare Academy by Frank Peretti         > The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Steve Chbosky - Christian mp3s / Christian CDs         > Jars of Clay albums: Jars of Clay, If I Left the Zoo, The Eleventh Hour, Futhermore, Redemption Songs         > The Way I Am (Jennifer Knapp)         > City On A Hill         > Casting Crowns - DVDs/VCDs         > The Incredibles         > As Told By Ginger episodes :D         > Jars of Clay DVD/VCD (11ive: The Eleventh Hour Concert)         > The Hangman's Curse DVD - to have an honest to goodness oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-you-went-through-all-this-for-me surprise :D I'm still trying to think what I will do on my birthday, because I want to do something different this year. I have an exam on that day, o diba? Haha. Anyway, back to thesis.

They weren't the first Christian band I got to know. Their song wasn't the first Christian song I downloaded, nor listened to. But they were the first one I loved.


Jars of Clay-- Steve Mason, Dan Haseltine, Charlie Lowell and Matt Odmark

I first got to listen to them through Ate Grace. I was letting her listen to Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse, when she said, "They sound like Jars of Clay." I knew then that Jars of Clay was a Christian band, but I don't know any of their songs.

The first song I got to download from them was Like A Child, and the moment I heard it, I fell in love. I was singing that song over and over again in school, and then I downloaded the second song, Love Song for a Savior and I listed them as one of my favorite bands.

A few months later, my friend let me borrow the cassette tape of their first album. That was when I first heard Worlds Apart and the first time I heard it clearly (as in understood the lyrics and all), I cried. I bawled my eyes out, because I was truly humbled by their song. I listened to their album over and over again and downloaded song after song until I almost memorized all of them.

There was some kind of lull in my love for Jars of Clay, when I discovered other Christian bands. But they were always there in the top list whenever I was asked who my favorite was.

I always thought that the only time I'd get to see them perform live was when I visit another country, until I saw the issue of FiSH magazine last December, with Jars of Clay on its cover. I saw that they will visit on February, but it wasn't sure yet, until news came and it WAS sure.

I could not believe it. This was my chance to see them live, and I made sure that I will watch it, no matter what.

Now it's two days before the BIG day, and I really can't wait. I pray that this will be like my Stephen Speaks experience, where I actually got to meet them, but it's okay that I am given a chance to watch them live, because it's really what I want to do. And I thank God for letting me be able to watch them.

I love them for their music, and I admit that I am crushing on Dan Haseltine big time, but most especially, I love them because of the way they show their faith. Out of all their 10 years in the music industry, they never went with the flow, but they went against it. They set an example, which a lot of other bands followed now. Their songs are sincere and it touches the hearts of those who really and truly listen to them. They used media to bring God to the people and even if they won a lot of awards already, they still acknowledged that it's all God's work, not theirs.

And again, let me say this: I will be able to watch them live on Wednesday.

Thank YOU, Lord.

"However, we carry this treasure in jars of clay, so that this all-surpassing power may not be seen as ours but God's."
- 2 Corinthians 4:7