"To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend."


- p. 16, The Little Prince
        by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Yesterday, I was...what was I doing yesterday? I actually can't remember, except for the fact that I did read old text messages and whatnot last night. Then I realized that I've been a really...well, ingrateful (it's the word that comes into my mind) friend to some other people. I mean, I was all worked up last Saturday about her, and I act like I'm losing so much and that she's my one and only friend left and that my world would crumble if she's not in it. Which is not entirely true.

It's not that I don't want to make up with her anymore. I still do. Right now I finally came to my senses and realized that I should be thankful for the people who are still here for me, who knew and understood what I have to say. There's no need to be sad. I may have lost some, but I still have a whole lot of people here, and I have gained as well. Count your blessings, as they say. I'm moving on, but I'm leaving a door open just in case opportunity knocks and we could make peace again. I'm not wallowing in my sadness anymore.

And let me just say my friends rock. You guys definitely do, and there's no denying that. So if some of you received a text message from me last night, it may be just a quote, but I really meant that. To those I didn't get to text, learn from here that I am thanking you from the bottom of my as well.

"Kala ko dati malas ako,
kala ko pinagtripan ako ng mundo,
tapos napatingin ako sayo...
tas napangiti.

bakit?

kasi kahit gaano ako kamalas...
bawing bawi lahat dahil sayo.ü"

...how wonderful of a friend you are. Tins, you are simply out of this world, a friend that nobody can ever beat. If you have been that kind of friend to me through all these years, I bet my life you are able to be that kind of friend to others as well, and maybe even better. I'm not just telling you this because you're my tinapay. I'm telling you this because it's the truth, ok? Pero to make the long story short, please NEVER EVER think for one second that you are a bad or fake or dishonest or anything negative of a friend. Because you're not. Tins, through all these years that I've known you, even though we live thousands of miles away from each other. And even though I've met and gotten close to so many people here in my side of the world, nobody. And I mean NOBODY has ever and will ever replace you as my one true friend. Ok? You are a beautiful person with a beautiful heart, and ohmygosh nobody can ever ask for more.

If ever you get to read this...

To Joanna Mariz de Guzman,

my best friend who lives on the other side of the world...

I LOVE YOU!!!


You don't know how much you made me feel better today by reading your email. Maybe you do. I'm really lucky to have you as my friend, my best friend. I miss you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I've been in the Gox lobby since this morning, working on our ISTECH3 project. We're progressing okay, but there's still a lot of work to be done. Kaya to!

It's been cold all day. Weather like this makes me feel nice...and sometimes a bit lonely. I don't want to go all senti and whatnot, I'm not in the mood.

But then again...don't you just want it sometimes? The feeling of being giggly, being happy and having this goofy smile on your face that you can't seem to wipe off? The way one person can just turn your day around by saying something or doing something that is really cute...and sometimes really sweet.

[Of course, the person can do something that can make you crash down and all, but I won't get to that.]

I'm writing this because of this reason: I want to have that goofy smile on my face again. Even just for a while. I need an inspiration. I want to feel that again.

Question is: am I ready? Haha. I don't know. But I'll settle for that silly smile again, given the chance. Kahit yun nalang muna.

Back to work. :D

Last week it was A Walk to Remember. This week, it's Maid in Manhattan.

I want a Landon Carter. I want a Chris Marshall (and can I say? I love Ralph Fiennes' eyes! *swoon* And the smile! *swoon*). I want a love story like that. Someone who will sweep me off my feet and turn my world upside down in the nicest way possible.

I swear. I wish that in writing this, I'll be prophetic: By waiting, I know God will write me a love story that is just as (or even more) breathtaking as the ones in the movies.

Awwww. I wonder when will HBO show Two Weeks Notice. Hee hee.

+ getting the pink and white dorm ring from Aithne.

+ getting sample JSF codes

+ Baban letting us borrow his laptop

+ watching Jars of Clay's Five Candles video twice on Zoe TV 11 (:hearteyes: I LABSHU DAN!!!!! :hearteyes


Just a week to go and it's end of first term. Two projects, 4 finals and 1 revision left. WAAAH.

This week has been one heck of a ride. I've snapped, been touched, lost sleep and still made it through in one piece, more or less.

Let me just get this moment to say THANKS to everyone who helped, gave words of encouragement and basically stayed with me throughout the week. I wouldn't have made it without you guys. From Baban who let us borrow his laptop, to the people who helped us in the WEBDEVE project even if it didn't really help at all. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

Meeting up with my high school friends to have some quality time with each other. I'm finally gonna see my MIA best friend again -- humanda ka sa akin! Marami kang utang na kwento!!! Then we'll talk about joining the MYX Barkada VJ for a day. Haha! Mga trip!

Then next week, it's just ISTECH revisions, VD-PROD video, ANMATH3 and BIOCOM1 finals. Of all those things, I'm quite nervous for BIOCOM1. I need to know my pre-final grade. I hope my professor replies to my email soon. For ANMATH3, I just have to pass the finals and I get 2.5 for my grade. Yeah. :D

Oh yeah...and apparently, it's Spaniards Week (Viva España!) this week, and Reden, Ace, Louie and the others are planning the Subic trip for next weekend. Please, please please let this push through. I need a break.

My mom left for Saipan last night and the reason why I'm still up (despite my need to catch up sleep) is that I'm waiting for her to call. I hope she calls soon? Hehe.

I find it really amusing how much I didn't think of him that much this week -- probably because I was busy. I needed that. I want that again. It feels fulfilling in a way.

And I find it funny that her boyfriend waved at me on my way out of school, in this certain fashion that the girl wouldn't notice. I just found it funny that it's that way. I don't want to make things complicated anymore so I'm shutting up.

Reading past journal entries reminds me of things that happened which I should've paid attention to but didn't. Like how he asked me if he could meet me at McDo so we could go to a certain batchmate's celebration at HP. Of all people to ask, why me? Haha. But then again, I was the one who asked him if he was going to the party the day before, which kind of figures why he asked me. Hmm...if I didn't meet up with my other friends in her condo that day before going to the party, then the two of us would've went there together, just the two of us. I wonder what we would've talked about then, on the way there...and if would he treat me to the fare or if we would just walk all the way there. And all those stuff that all lovelorn/nostalgic/reminiscing people think about.

And in some ways, thinking about that certain situation kind of makes me regret things happened that way that day...but then I guess it was all for the better.

That's it, I'm gonna sleep. :D Will call my dentist tomorrow morning...er, later to see if my appointment pushes through. Hmmm...now I kind of wish that it doesn't, but then I hope it does pa rin, just so I can get it over with. Hehe.

Dentist appointment got cancelled. Oh well.

BUT! I'm finally gonna see my MIA best friend! Hahaha! I even got to talk to him earlier on the phone. SA WAKAS! I missed that guy! YES YES YES I'M FINALLY GONNA SEE HIM NA! May utang pa naman sa akin yun.

Off I go!

I had a pretty good day. YES, I FINALLY MET UP WITH MY BEST FRIEND AGAIN. Haha. I missed that guy! We talked about lotsa stuff, and I'm not yet done talking to him. Haha. And the cool thing is, he's more or less free the next few weeks, and it's just cool timing because I'm almost on term break. Finally someone to talk to who's outside the situations I get myself into. HAHA. :p

Watched Two Weeks Notice on HBO earlier (much thanks to Louie for telling me about it!). It's actually one movie that I wouldn't give a second glance to back when it was shown...but, you know how these things go.

I find it funny that that movie reminds me of two people who, coincidentally are the ones making my life kind of interesting right now. Life is so ironic naman talaga o. *sigh*

But what the heck. No need to dwell on that.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm still in denial. *thinks* NAH.

Labo mehn. I think I'm just hungry.

(FUNNY THOUGHTS.)

I know it's late, but I'll go cook myself (late) dinner. Tomorrow I'm gonna be working on the stuff I should be working on na. Whoo.

ANG HULI KO SA BALITA. Haha. Tama pala si Vida kahapon. Happy happy sa inyong dalawa (you know who you are). :D Haha. Sa wakas? Naks!

Vacation na rin at last...and I had a premature celebration last Tuesday night. Kasi naman lahat ng roommates ko wala ng kelangan gawin...so nag-Greenbelt kami. We were supposed to watch a movie, but we ended up food-tripping (Go Nuts Donuts, Ice Monster, NY Fries [i think] and whatnot) and then going to Powerbooks and browsing for an hour. It was sale time, that is. Haha! I bought Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (LOVELY BOOK!) and Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. My money, of course. Now I'm feeling bankrupt again. But it was worth it. Natural highs, as Ynna said.

I'm really glad to be home. I missed this place, believe it or not. I'm getting sick of the school atmosphere and all the stress it's been giving me. Haha. I need a break. And I want to hang out with my high school friends. :D

And speaking of high school friends...here's the survey some people have been doing.

(fourth year high school survey)

Watching Gary V's Thankful concert last night made me think of 2 things:

1. I wish I watched the concert too (it was just like a YFC praisefest!)
2. I miss singing out loud like that and giving my all to God in praisefests.

Then I got to talk to MR and he was asking me if I would go to the CommBased Congress today, which I only knew about from Jay who I texted last night about Gary V's concert. Then I shared to MR how I feel lost in my YFC service -- I don't know where to stand, where I could actually serve with the best of what I have. Where I wouldn't be neglecting my members, where I would be able to attend meetings and whatnot. I've been neglecting High School based too much already, and I don't think I'm supposed to be there anymore. And then there's Campus, where I know I will be able to attend, but then I don't really go there now don't I?

*sigh* Here I go again, analyzing the entire situation. I'm lost. I don't know where to go. I know I'm not losing my faith in God. I still love Him, and I still believe in Him and I'd follow Him wherever He wants me to. It's just that I don't know where to go now. It's like I'm looking for something new, something that I haven't been experiencing in YFC.

College has made things hard...but I don't think it should be a hindrance from experiencing God in my everyday life.

Where can I find you, God? I know You want me to do something, but I don't know what.


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Went out with my high school friends yesterday, and I had a blast, even if Toni has the sore eyes (virus breeding ground as he said). We hung out at The Podium, and had a very SATC-like conversation which ranged from what Toni did while he was in UPLB and "hiding" from us, teasing Toni for not coming to our debuts, drinking sessions, Pau wanting to try Tequila Rose and wanting to bring her Tequila Roulette, them being very surprised at my "knowledge" of alcohol (parang napakalawak ano, hindi pa naman ako nagiging wasted ever haha), plans of going to Los Baños and the pictorial that Toni keeps on insisting for us to do. Then we walked around Ortigas and accompanied Pau to buy dinner at McDo, but had to go home because my brother was looking for me already. We hailed a taxi and then on the way there, Chris had this conversation with the driver and the three of us talked at the back. We actually found out that the driver had Hero Angeles as his passenger one time. Wohoo. Haha.

I love my high school friends. Our friendship is in the stage wherein even if we didn't get to see each other for a long time or talk to each other that much, when we get together, it feels like nothing passed at all. I didn't want to give Toni the satisfaction of me agreeing with him (haha, I love teasing that guy!), but I like his idea of our friendship achieving furniture status -- friendship with no inhibitions, meaning we could go naked in front of each other and not mind (hey, don't blame me, that's Toni's example. ).


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After the hanging out with my high school friends, I got together with my brother. I love that guy, even if he grinds my nerves at times. We went grocery shopping and then we went home and cooked pancit canton. Hehe. Then we both watched Gary V's concert. Hehe.

And I'm missing my dad and my mom a lot. I guess distance really makes the heart grow fonder. I can't wait to visit my dad there on Christmas. Hehe. I miss him a lot. :D

I know I've complained about my family lots of times, but they're the best. I love them very much.


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Thinking about this made me realize how much God has blessed me. Thank You, Lord. :D

I really don't understand myself at times.

I think I may be manic-depressive. Okay, just moody.

Hey you, my offline journal. I need you NOW.

I have four gmail invites left.

Anyone want one?